Imposter Syndrome redux

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August 3, 2012 by readlisaread

So I am sitting in an okay hotel room (nice room, crazy location, at the back of the Costco). I’ve been away from home for the better part of two weeks, but for a couple of quick overnights home. Now that the last day of class has arrived, I’m just now catching my breath. Several of the learners asked me last night at our celebration dinner how I was feeling, how my first residency experience as a professor had gone. The opportunity to share my growth with others is always appealing, and being a hard core extrovert, I probably share more than I ought–that fine line between being honest, and undermining myself. so they knew how I felt about being thrown in, inexperienced but highly stoked to dig in.

As I circled the party, joining different groups and overhearing stories from their own experiences, I began to feel like an imposter again. I wasn’t, as much as I wanted to be, a peer to this group, as much as I adored them and felt warmly accepted, but I had completed my own journey. My apprenticeship was over. Change is growth, and growing means moving on. I stood outside in the warm summer air, hearing the laughter floating up from the patio, and realized how very comfortable I was in my new Lisa suit.


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