I have this thing about leadership. I am a natural leader (that is, I’m bloody bossy), people listen to me (that is, I’m loud, and often surprised by the words that come out of my mouth) and am generally likeable (that part needs no qualifier, it’s true). But I don’t especially like to be in charge. I would much rather be on a committee that pulls hard together than delegate. Years ago I took a leadership course and wrote the following quote as one of my assignments:

I cannot choose not to lead. If there is no one, then I must step into the breech—I must, it is who I am. If the leadership that exists is false, dangerous or blind, then I must step in front and force a change in direction—I must, it is who I am. But…If there is leadership authentic, right, and bold, then I follow and support—for that is the best of who I am.

Lately, I’ve been learning a lot of lessons about leadership (and also humility). Actually…. I don’t know that I’ve been learning…. but certainly a lot of lessons have presented themselves to me, and I hope I have learned what I was supposed to. Earlier this school year, I accepted a contract to teach a course in another MA course. It went well, or so I thought, until the final reviews. I had never had such a wide range of responses, from “Best instructor EVER” to “If she has an office somewhere, find it, burn it and salt the earth”. It was a good lesson in realizing you can’t be all things to all people, and the disparity showed me that at least I hadn’t been mediocre, and I took solace in the fact that there were more loves than hates.

Not long after, I got the offer to return to Royal Roads for a Residency course in my usual program. Most teachers delight in 2 blessed months of freedom in the summer, but I’m stoked to take yet another teaching job. So I packed my suitcase and headed off for the bliss of a bed and a bathroom to myself and a new batch of eager, students….in the form of grown adults. A sharp departure from my usual crew of stinky, gangly, uncouth and awkward teenagers. Well. This class did have good hygiene…at least. I noticed some things about my teaching this time around. I took more risks in my practice, but also took more ownership of the class. As a result, I was impatient about details that weren’t handled to my satisfaction, irritated by what I saw as micro-managing interference that still didn’t address the aforementioned details, and worried about everything that didn’t go smoothly. Fretting about the fact that the caterers didn’t serve enough chicken for our wrap up dinner, one of the learners looked at me and said “Lisa! It”s not your monkey!”. Now there is a lesson worth learning.