Funny thing. I was visiting old friends recently — old in the sense of having known them for decades, but, admittedly, we are all… middle aged (*music: duh duh duhn). My friend mentioned how funny it is that when we were kids, we listened to classic rock– Buddy Holly, Elvis, Bill Haley and the Comets–music of our parent’s generation.  Yet, our kids don’t listen to the soundtrack of our youth, was it an anomaly shared by me and my peers?

When I think of those songs now, or if I hear a snippet of a tune somewhere, I can instantly recall the lyrics– it’s not even recall, they are instantly at the front of my mind. One such tune has been running through my head for the last few days, set in the context of how we feel valued, and how women my age had a whole different reality than the one we raised our daughters in.  This has all become tangled up in rape culture/slut shaming for me. Let me give you some examples.  First of all, thinking just about the music of the ’50s and ’60s, can you bring up any lyrics for songs about women with questionable character?

Jolene— the singer begs Jolene not to take her man

Delta Dawn— A sad character that wanders the streets lost, waiting for the man who promised her a life in exchange for her virtue

Angie Baby–Well, she’s just plum crazy, and while the male character in the piece does have “evil on his mind”, her psychosis trumps his “having a good time”, and he disappears forever.

Ruby— this is a little later, more of a ’70s ballad than ’50s pop, but it, too, speaks of a fallen woman who can’t see the love of a good man right in front of her.

What of the songs about men, then?

Leader of the Pack — The classic bad boy

Run Joey Run– Even though her dad thinks Joey is bad news, he comes to the girl’s aid, only to have her take a bullet for him and die in his arms.

Last Kiss–Recently covered by Pearl Jam (which makes me think a lot of us listened to old music growing up) this little number is, again, about a bad boy who loses the love of his life in a car wreck

Ode to Billy Joe–another sad and troubled male character, we never did know what Billy Joe threw into the river, but something bad went down up on Choctaw Ridge, bad enough that he threw himself off the Tallahatchie bridge a short time later.

So, my heroines were crazy, man-stealing, fallen women of disrepute, and the heroes of the songs were misunderstood gentle rebels, who came to realize true love too late.  Hmmm.

So my learning was: Boys will be boys, and if you behave like a whore, you’ll deserve what you get. However, if you’re a good girl, this might also be you at your own party.  (Dammit Judy–interesting side note, in the follow up hit, “It’s Judy’s turn to cry”– why the hell are they fighting over Johnny?  He seems like a real jerk.)

And advice for young men?  The earworm I mentioned earlier:

Never make a pretty woman your wife  (“she’s ugly and her eyes don’t match, take it from me she’s a better catch”).