So, I’m a Feeler. No, now, childish reader, not that sort… although I have been known to maul pregnant bellies and sueded sports-coat sleeves. No, I’m talking about feelings.  The Feels. They are strong with this one.

It’s what explains my fierce loyalty, my support and belief in someone, my clingingness to a cause or a person, even when others move on, drop the connection, don’t reciprocate. In other words, as smart as I am (and I’m no intellectual slouch) the brain doesn’t get to decide, the heart does.

Recently I made some new friends at a conference, and we got to talking (as you do) about Myers-Briggs profiles (did I mention this was a nerd conference? Yeah….) Humorously, we new four friends were evenly divided between introverts and extroverts. We two extroverts were divided between Judging and Perceiving.  (He an ENFJ, me an ENFP–if you wish to find out more about more about the Personality Inventory, any number of on-line tests are available, most of them based on the MB types, although it has fallen out of favour in academic circles, it used to be used extensively to recommend areas of study or employ). So, F and J had a conversation about feelings. As our whiskey-fueled conversation meandered from the upcoming US election to doctoral studies to the characters we’d met so far in the North, I noticed I was deeply invested in remembering the conversation, creating connection to these three new conference-mates and adding my feelings about this experience to the life-inventory.

In other words, I don’t just shoot the breeze with randos I meet. And I don’t just go to conferences for shits and giggles (although, I do enjoy the odd S&G). As the adage goes, if it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing well. I invest my full focus at what is in front of me. The flip side of that is that there is not always return on investment.

Recently, I’ve decided I’m ok with that.  I don’t need to change my feely ways, I just need to learn when to cut loose that poor investment of my time or passion. In the stock market of the Feels, I need to learn to buy low and sell high. I wonder how Bear and Bull markets fit into that metaphor?

*Disclaimer to pedants:  I know words such as “clingingness” and “feely” don’t exist in most dictionaries, but they are part of the Lisa Lexicon.  I have strong feelings about langauge, too…